Warning: Graphic Images Below

These are 6 of Matt's 7 incision/tube slices. The 7th one is around further on his chest. Matt says this picture doesn't do justice to how gross they look. Let me tell you, it's gross. I dry heaved twice when I was peeling the bandages off. I have a weak stomach though.

So, yeah! Good news. Matt got to come home yesterday at around 3pm. Since he's been home, things have improved by about 10 fold. They'll improve even more once he's back to his dish-washing, tub-scrubbing self. Even though he's still kind of Mr. Gimpy (as I lovingly like to call him), he's still an extra pair of eyes to make sure the kids aren't naughty, and he even felt well enough to feed Brooke her baby food for lunch today and helped remove the poo filled towel and clothing mess when Jenna decided it would be fun to crawl in the tub and poo...and then try to wipe it up with her bath towel. So all in all, it's great having him home!

So I've decided I have some issues with sympathy and compassion. I think it is my cross to bear in life...seriously. I don't think it is a coincidence that I have a husband and children with a considerable amount of health problems. I myself, have none and because of this I have always just taken good health for granted and quite honestly, been very impatient with people who need pampering or doting over when they're sick. I really am a terrible person. You don't believe me, take this for example. Yesterday, Matt has been home from the hospital for about 3 hours. He's been walking around a bit, watching ESPN, reading books with the girls...nothing too intense, but he's doing good. So he walks over to the fridge, gets an apple out and sets it on the counter. A few minutes later he says, "Hey babe, do you think you could cut up that apple for me?" Now, if I were a good person I would have said, "Sure thing honey! You poor dear little thing." But I'm a terrible person, so I said, "Oh, I didn't know your hands weren't working either." I did say this jokingly and did, ultimately cut the apple for him, but I was thinking, he just doesn't like cutting up apples, he totally could have done that! Earlier in the day I made and buttered toast for him, I thought I was doing pretty good! Oh well. Like I said, this is my trail in life, having sick family members and learning how to be a sympathetic and caring wife/mother to their needs. No matter what though, Matt knows, I'll never change his diapers or wipe up his drool. His booty will be shipped to a home for that kind of business. I have my limits.

Daddy...MIA

Well, I haven't written in a while, but we really haven't had anything good to write about. Many of you know that Matt has been in the hospital since last Thursday because of problems with his lungs. The brief recap of the story (for those who haven't heard it a million times) is that his left lung was pretty much non-functioning and had formed a puss-filled sack on the outside (Pleurisy) that had turned from a fluid into a gelatin-like substance. They put tubes in Matt's side to try and drain out the fluid, but since it was now a gel, they had to go in and remove it surgically as well as remove parts of his lung that were dead and "peel" his lung off of his chest wall. So, that surgery happened Monday night and he's still in the hospital recovering and being tested for other problems. Anyway, I finally took my camera up today and got some pictures.

Matt has 3 tubes coming out of his lungs/side right now. They actually made 4 incisions when they went in for surgery and then they left 3 tubes in to drain any fluids. That's really the most painful part for him right now.Thanks to my parents and great friends in the ward, I've been able to go up and see Matt 1-2 times a day. Having him away from home is a constant reminder that I am NOT cut out to be a single mother and that having a mother and a father in the home is definitely divinely inspired. I miss having that 2nd set of hands, that rational voice when I'm getting upset about something, someone to talk to, someone to change diapers, someone to sleep next to. It's funny to see how things just build up on you. Like yesterday, for example. I was outside trying to mow the lawn. First, I got the weed whacker out. I started weed whacking the edges and all of the sudden it wasn't cutting anymore, the little rope thingy had broken off or something...I had no idea how to fix it, I was just proud I was even attempting to weed whack! So I say, forget it, I'll just mow. So I get the mower out and start mowing. 3 passes into the lawn it dies because it's out of gas. I get the huge and totally heavy gas can out and try pouring it in...I slosh it everywhere. Finished spilling/filling the gas tank, I attempt to start the lawn mower and the little pulley cord thing will not pull, it's stuck on something or other. By this point I was so frustrated that I started crying and ran inside and cried for a little while. "Stupid freakin' lawn mower!!" I kept saying over and over again. Isn't it funny how things just build up and then spill out over a stupid lawn mower and a weed whacker!Jenna's had a hard time dealing with Matt being gone. I think she is sad but doesn't know how to react to the situation. She's been very disobedient and willfully defiant this past week and has been doing things that are really out of character for her. Yesterday morning, for instance, she pooped in her pants. Let me tell you, she has NEVER pooped in her pants, even when she was potty training (she's smeared poo all over her crib, yes, but never in her pants). Anyway, when she came and told me about it, she was totally casual and acted like it was no big thing. Then, when the fiasco was all over, she wouldn't even talk to me about it or look in my eyes or anything. It was so weird. Anyway, I've been taking her up by herself to see Matt and tonight we brought some books that he read to her. She LOVED it and loved sharing Daddy's dessert too (chocolate pie!) Jenna has been up and down lately, one minute sweet, the next sour...for example:

Sweet:

We're driving home from the hospital tonight and she starts crying, "I miss daddy. I miss my daddy." Me too, I tell her. I miss daddy too. She keeps crying for a minute and then says, "Don't worry mommy, it will be alright." Right after that, she's still crying and she says to me, "We'll go pick Brookie up and then I'll shove her down and everything will be okay." Ah, there comes the sour! All I could say is, "I'm sorry honey, I miss daddy too."

Clogged Artery Casserole

So yesterday we had a little "incident." Brooke was in her high chair eating a snack after her nap and I had a bunch of stuff on the kitchen counter because I was in the middle of making dinner. Well, I'm back on the computer for a minute and then I hear Jenna in the bathroom with the water running. I go in there:

Me: What's going on? Why are you washing your hands...(Then I notice the butter all over them). Why is there butter all over the place!!!!

Jenna: Well, I was just holding the butter for a little while.

Me: What?! Why?! Continue stammering...

Jenna: Don't worry mommy, I gave it to Brookie.

Me: AAAAHHHHH! Run screaming "NO!!!!" into the kitchen.

Had to snap a pic. Everyone loves a cube of butter with their Cheerios, right?

I underestimated the power of the Dark Side

Some of you may be aware of my long time hatred and vendetta against the Star Wars movies (new and old). I have been very proud of the fact that I have never seen any of them and was very adamant about NEVER doing so. I thought they looked stupid and I don't like alien type things, so it almost became a vow of mine, that I would never watch them (plus, it was partly to spite Matt because he loves them so much).

Well, after 5 years of marriage, Matt had worn me down quite a bit on the topic. Then, this weekend, they came on Spike TV in a big Star Wars marathon weekend...and Matt Tivoed them. Well, you can guess what happened next...a little peer pressure and a lot of nothing else to do and he had talked me into watching them.

This next part, I want you to know, I'm not proud of....but I liked them. I can't explain why or how this phenomenon happened, but I found myself really excited to watch each consecutive one (we only watched 4, 5 and 6). After many hours of pondering how I could have let this happen, I have come to a conclusion that satisfies my rational side and allows me to not hate myself.

If you take (A) something you hate and add it to (B) Harrison Ford, the sum of those two parts equals (C) something enjoyable. If you don't believe me, take this for example. Say you hate celery (A), eat it while watching a Harrison Ford movie (B) and you will end up liking it (C). Based on this equation, it's not my fault that I liked the Star Wars movies...you can't defy mathematics. It just is what it is.

PS If anyone has Episodes 1, 2 and 3, I will need to borrow those, strictly for mathematical experimentation. I need to see if Ewan MacGregor is an acceptable substitute for Harrison Ford in my equation (I suspect he will be, ow ow!).

Wedding and such

Ok, I'm done being a Debbie Downer (SNL reference), at least for a week or so. :) On to happier and less crappy things in life. Like, say for instance....a wedding! Hooray. What's happier than a wedding?

So beautiful. Although Nikki probably doesn't like this picture because she'll say her bangs look "piecey." That was my job during the shooting...tell her if her bangs were getting piecey, apply her lip gloss, and fluff her train. Can't beat free labor.
I loved the cake (and not just because I helped pick it out). And most shocking of all...it tasted good.


This is me and my three siblings. Me, Nikki, Dubs (Kristen), and Brian

Brooke did a pretty good job riding in the car. Matt, in the back seat...didn't do so good. You can see his barf bag laying on his chest.

I love you headrest DVD Player. I've never said that to an electronic device before. But this feeling I feel is so strong, it must be love.

Dude, I'm Hatin' my Dell

Okay, here is a brief recap of my conversation with the Dell Technical Support Staff today:

Me: Hi, I'm calling because my computer has been going to a blue screen every time I turn it on and the computer store can't fix it.

Husan (Indian accent): Yes, Mrs. Morgan I happy to assist you today. Just so you know your warranty expired last month and to continue our call there will be a $39.95 charge.

Me: Of course there will be!

Later on....

Husan: How long ago was your computer working properly?

Me: Oh, probably 2 weeks ago.

Husan: So would you say, that two weeks ago, your computer was working well?

Me: Um, yes!?!

Husan: So Mrs. Morgan, when you were using your computer before two weeks ago, everything was functioning well, is that correct?

Me: What the....? Yes, a thousand time yes!

45 Minutes Later....


Me: Okay, I'm in safe mode now, what should I do.

Husan: Alright Mrs. Morgan, I need you to get into Safe Mode.

Me: Yes, I'm in Safe Mode, now what?

Husan: Mrs. Morgan, to get into Safe Mode you need to press the F8 key while your computer is booting up.

Me: Husan, listen buddy, I'm there. What now?

Husan: Silence....So would you say you are, or are not in the Safe Mode screen?

Me: Bashing my head against the desk and making a handgun motion to my right temple.

This joyous encounter lasted 1 1/2, after which I wanted to crawl in the oven and press the preheat button. Let me just say to all those of you who may be considering it: Dude, don't get a Dell!

Top 10 Crappy Things From the Past 2 Weeks

10. I have 2 canker sores and 1 inflamed taste bud in my mouth and they are really inhibiting my enjoyment of food and talking (my two favorite pastimes).
9. I had to spend 40 hours round trip driving to and from Utah.
8. Only 3 hours into our trip, our DVD player broke and we had to make an EMERGENCY stop at a Wal-mart where I purchased their only available headrest DVD player for $200.
7. My bridesmaid dress for Nicole's wedding was all jacked up and my back hem hung about 2 inches longer than my front hem...I looked like a tard.
6. Matt started feeling sick the night before we drove home and about 2 hours into our 2o hour drive home, starting a barfing pattern that would last the rest of the trip.
5. He didn't always make it in the plastic bag!
4. When we got home our computer was broken and the computer store doesn't know how to fix it.
3. Our computer is only 1 year old.
2. Matt had to go into the Emergency room on Monday and they determined he has Pleurisy. He has been in the worst pain of his life all week long. (I'm still upset about the barfing in the van).
1. They changed up the class schedule at the gym and now my whole weekly routine is TOTALLY jacked up. Those people didn't know the kind of week I was having when they switched that up on me.

Well, I would write more, but I'm on borrowed time on my parent's computer. My girls are probably tearing up things as I speak. Pictures of the wedding trip to come as I slowly begin to get my life back on schedule.