Just What I've Always Wanted

I hear Jenna calling me from somewhere.

Mommy! Mommy! I've got something for you!

I follow her voice until I find her sitting on the toilet in my bathroom. Oh joy, this should be good.

Hey Mommy, I've got this present for you.

Oh yah, I hesitate, not wanting to know what it is.

Yah, look at this ho-mungus poop I did for you. Can you see that!?


I know you're all jealous. My children are so thoughtful. They don't put this kind of stuff in the brochure for parenting, you just find it out as you go along.

If I wrote the brochure, the warning would go something like this:
"Future parents be cautioned: Children have a strange fascination with bodily functions; shape, size, color, frequency and consistency. Children also feel that you should share in their fetish. However, this fascination does not come with the ability to properly clean the residual affects of such functions and therefore you will be required to do so, until such an age where they are capable of effectively cleaning it on their own (about 14 years old). Knowing such: Have children at your own risk."

Making Peace with Halloween

My goal this Halloween season is to not hate Halloween. I want my girls to enjoy it and have fun, without me moaning and groaning about the myriad things I hate about Halloween. The steps I am taking to achieve this goal are as follows:

1. I will not once complain about the fact that I have to hand out candy to children who are 1). ungrateful and 2). complete strangers.


2. I will make a concerted effort before October 30th to beg, borrow or buy a Halloween costume for the girls.


3. I will make Halloween themed sugar cookies at least 3 and no more than 5 times during the month of October.


4. I will allow Jenna and Brooke to wear black and orange Halloween shirts at least once a week during the month of October. (I hate themed shirts!)


5. I will volunteer at Jenna's preschool for the Halloween (or "Fall") party.


6. I have picked a "Halloween" background for my blog.


7. I will NOT dress up, however I will not ridicule those adults who choose to do so. :)


8. I will only yell at trick or treaters who are obviously over the age of 12, but will keep my rantings brief and without profanities.


9. I will not smash my neighbors pumpkins.


10. I will not bake any pumpkin flavored food (yuck!), however, I am toying with the idea of lighting a pumpkin scented candle around October 29th to get us in the mood for merriment.

I feel, that with this list of surefire ways to enjoy Halloween, I'm bound to have a gay old time. And see, I've already made these bows for Jenna and Brooke to show Halloween that I am burying the hatchet and that I will, henceforth, hold no grudges against it (no matter how justified they may be).

Countdown to Milo

As I type, it is 19 hours until Heroes: Villians premiers Monday night. 19 hours until some seriously Milo action. Sweet dreams.

5 Things Tag

10 years ago I:
• Was the Mia Maid President (Okay people, laugh it up, I'm a child)
• Was the power forward on the Basketball team
• Had a crush on C. J. Poore
• Had just moved to MO and was missing my friends in UT
• Starting working at my dad's restaurant rolling silverware

Today’s TO DO list:
• Sweep & Mop the kitchen
• Practice my Body Step choreography for certification
• Finish my blurb.com blogging book and submit it to publish
• Do this blog post
• Finish the book I'm reading

5 Snacks that I enjoy:
• Chips and Salsa
• Ruffles and French Onion Dip
• Pickles
• Cheeze-its
• Salt and Vinegar Pringles

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire:
• Buy a bigger, beautiful house
• Hire a landscape designer/gardener
• Buy Matt an Audi A5 and me a Honda Pilot
• Give some money to our brothers and sisters and parents
• Put the rest into education IRA accounts for the girls

5 places I have lived:
• Columbia, MO
• Southern Cal
• Lehi, UT
• Orem, UT
• Provo, UT

5 Jobs I have had:
• Marketing/HR/PR/AR/AP
• Scrapbook paper packager (best job ever, minus the paper cuts)
• Buffet server at BOTH Golden Corral and Up-Chuck O'Rama
• Retail sales at a sports store
• Coming Soon...Body Step Aerobics instructor

5 people the I TAG:
• Let's be real, I really don't know 5 people to tag, so, yah. You're tagged if you want to be.

Tomato Pickers (which is better than Nose Pickers)

One of Jenna's FAVORITE things to do is pick tomatoes with Grandpa. Every spring my dad plants about a dozen or so tomato plants and so, come July-September, he's picking tomatoes like crazy. This is Jenna's second year being his designated tomato picker and she is getting to be quite the pro. This year, Brooke has even gotten to join in on the fun a time or two. It's a good thing for grandparents, so that my girls will learn about things like gardens and vegetables, because heaven knows they wont be learning from me!

Preschool Bound

I've neglected posting this picture for a few days because I've been busy stressing about other things (I have to speak in church on Sunday, eeekkk!) Anyway, Thursday was Jenna's first official day of preschool. We had an "open house" on Tuesday and she kept asking me, "Are you going to leave, because I want to go paint." Well, when Thursday rolled around she was very excited (mostly to wear her empty backpack, I think). She goes from 9-12 and seemed to have a great time. When we left and were walking out after dropping her off, Brooke was crying and saying "JeJe" which is her name for Jenna. That lasted about 5 minutes until I stopped at the gas station and she got a sucker. :) When I picked Jenna up from school her teacher said she did great, except that she started crying and got really scared when they played the game "Going on a Bear Hunt." I guess I forgot to mention on Jenna's "Getting to Know You" form about her irrational fear of everything vaguely unfamiliar. So, anyway, long story short, my baby's in preschool. Now if I could only find a preschool that takes 15 month olds, I'd be set. (Matt has informed me that those preschools are called "Daycares.")

Some of Life's Mysteries

So I have some thought provoking questions that I need the answers to. You know, these are the type of questions that keep me up at night, tossing and turning. Similar to questions like, Where did we come from? and Why are we here?

1. Is it sacrilegious to not like a book written by a General Authority or even the Prophet? Not that I disagree with the content...it's just a little...slow.
2. It is really an old wives tale that eating food after 7pm makes you gain weight? I hope so.
3. How can I stop eating food after 7pm? I used to be really good and now, as soon as the girls go to bed I find myself standing in front of the pantry just staring at the goodness.
4. Will I ever find the capri's that went missing 3 months ago?
5. Should I pretend to be mad that Matt changed our cable provider and signed up for the BIGGEST package offered by DirectTV strictly for the purpose of watching the BYU football games? (Even though secretly I'm super excited to watch them too).
6. Why are some little hair rubber bands really stretchy and tight while others, the same size, are loose and don't hold the hair in tight?
7. Should I be worried about a 15 month old who can say "Dada" and "Coo-ger" but not Mama?
8. Will I ever get over being miffed off about Breaking Dawn and cursing it in my sleep? Dang you Breaking Dawn and cop-out Stephenie Meyer!!!

You see, with all these life altering questions running through my mind, it's no wonder sleep eludes me and I'm left to sit and ponder life's mysteries.

Fun-filled weekend

So these last couple of days I have spent, well, throwing up to be frank. It's been pretty terrible but it's over now, so I can look back at it with a sense of humor and realize some funny moments despite my misery.

• 
  Jenna was so cute trying to "take care of Mommy" as she called it. She would constantly come into the bedroom and ask me, "Mommy, are you about to throw up, do you want me to get you a bowl? Do you need me to hold your hair?" (This is what I do for her when she's sick).




• One time Jenna came into the bedroom and Matt started telling her, "Jenna let Mommy rest!" She came in anyway and started saying "I'm just coming in to take care of my mommy, don't worry about it." It was at this point that the sound of the Disney DVD started playing in the living room. She quickly came to my bedside and patted my back, "I'm gunna take care of you Mommy, just as soon as my movie is over!" Bam! She was out of there. I see how deep her loyalties truly lie.




• I was "pampered" all weekend by Jenna (and Brooke) who know that I love to have my hair played with and my back tickled. Truth be told, these pampering sessions were probably more painful than pleasurable, but it's hard to squelch their serving spirits.




• On Sunday, after taking care of Jenna and Brooke for two full days (and nights when Brooke started barfing) while I was down and out, Matt came in the bedroom and said, "You're so lucky! I wish I could get the flu and sleep all day and night." FYI, it wasn't all sleep buddy!

Here's the "pampering" first hand.

I guess all that taking care of me really wore Jenna out, because she fell asleep in this chair "doing her homework." Which is really just scribbling in a notebook with a pencil.